When he took my hand
I was sure it would last forever
He stole me away to forbidden lands
And we ran through naked fields

He picked me a flower
And decorated my hair with it
He cupped my face with his hands
Sending shivers through me

But when he spoke, my heart crumbled
And the tears separated his fingers from my skin
That was the end of our love.
And as her ran, my knees buckled beneath the weight of me

I clutched the area in my hollow chest
Somewhere where my heart used to beat
And everything I once was
Was somehow lost

The blue sky wept along with me
And my head fell to the ground
The smell of gravel burnt down my lungs
And the tickle of grass was numb to me

I sobbed with everything I had and it broke the surrounding silence
I saw his silhouette as he ran through the bare fields
And it pained me that I didn’t know
That I didn’t understand

It was too meaningless for my heart to break
So it melted and flooded away with my tears
I waited for insanity to set in
And back came running all my fears

When I finally stood, I walked alone
My eyes clouded over, my body weak
And I didn’t notice the empty fields
Filling up with life

I opened my mouth
To make a sound, to make a scream
But nothing came out, silence.
He had crushed my dreams

I began to run
The world around me spinning
My head throbbed and I couldn’t see
From the tears over flowing
All around me the world was contorted

I was wrapped in my endless pities & torn clothes
My cheeks were tear stained
And every face I passed
Took your shape

So I reached our hide away
Our secret place
And there you sit, calmly, legs swinging
I stare at you with wonder and hurt

I feel the blood run to my white canvas
And I swallow hatred building up inside of me
And as you laugh, you pierce my heart
You have daggers in your smile.

She took in her surroundings as her eyes adjusted to the veil of night. She saw piles of rubbish thrown everywhere, pouring over the garbage bins, a high metal fence with bits of fabric attached to it, dancing in the wind. She looked up to the clouds encircling the luminous moon, stealing away the twinkle of the stars.
She placed a hand over her mouth as if to silence herself from any noises that might slip out. The darkness crept into every corner, seeping into all the light that was left, casting distorted shadows over the walls.
The nearby flickering lamp posts silently went out, leaving the street in total darkness, her eyes the only two lights.
Soft rainfall began to fall from the dark skies and she grew even colder.
With each breath she took she saw it in front of her, swirling outwards, and vanishing quickly. Gone, like some forgotten dream.
The wind began to howl and she couldn’t hear anything else. But his footsteps echoed in her head. In her mind she saw him chase after her down this barren street, stopping for nothing. His dark skin blending with the darkness, the night was his cloak. He has almost caught her when she had pulled up behind a tree, out of his vision and ducked behind this dirty corner, leaving him lost and confused. Now she was alone. But she knew he was still waiting for her. She wondered if he could smell her fear, or hear her heart racing.
Suddenly she heard it. In the distance, through the howling wind, slamming against the shutters and the shrieking trees, she could hear the faint tap, tap, tap, tap of footsteps.
She clenched her fists tighter into balls, her nails cutting into her skin, but the pain reminded her that she wasn’t still totally numb. She pushed further into the corner trying to sink into the wall behind her, hoping the darkness might hide her. Tap, tap, tap, tap, the footsteps quickened, she could hear them clearly now, she couldn’t blame it on her imagination anymore. Panic arouse in her and she stood there shaking, holding her breath, waiting for the end to come.
The footsteps were close now, nearly around the corner she could even hear his distinct breathing. She closed her eyes, the rain came to a halt.
Suddenly the footsteps stopped. But she could hear him breathing in front of her. Slowly, she opened her eyes, curiosity getting the better of her, to face her fears.
A tall figure stood before her, half hidden by the darkness.
Uncontrollably she yelped.
He took a step closer to her and she froze. The familiar face of the man who had once hurt her when she was a child, stood in front of her.
‘Crimson,’ said the sly voice that had haunted her in her sleep, turning her dreams to nightmares.
A little smirk decorated his stubble-covered face. His frozen blue eyes, now clearly visible to her, seemed to be looking straight through her, exposing all her hidden fears.
He stood so close to her she could feel his alcohol drenched breath on her face, she cringed in disgust.
‘I finally found you,’ he whispered. He slowly raised his hand and placed it on her shoulder. She shuddered under his hold and with this one touch a thousand memories flooded through her, days of loneliness, hiding, crying, a childhood lived in fear of the uncle who tormented her. Until she finally escaped, but now it was too late, he had found her once again.

Her scream shattered the veil of night, louder then the cry of the wind, she was muffled suddenly, his hand hard against her mouth. She tried to step away, but he had a firm hold on her and she could not move. He slammed her hard against the wet brick wall, her head throbbing. Silenced, she relived the disturbing memories that she had tried so hard to suppress. She heard him unzip his bag, and saw him pull out his instruments. He held it up to the night sky, the knife that had scarred her body, it glowed in the moonlight. Tears began to roll down her face as he clutched his fingers tighter around the knifes handle, bringing it closer to her flesh. He held her face up to the moon and all the marks he had left her with were visible to the naked eye. She closed her eyes and felt the knife sink through her skin and the blood run slowly down her cheek. Darkness closed in around her and the usual array of colours she saw when she shut her eyes began to fade and as she grew weaker she felt her head begin to spin. Her knees buckled beneath the weight of her lifeless body and with her last breath she was sure she heard his heartless laugh.

I’m trying to remember those days
But their so faint
And faraway
Just like me

I used to be able to run
Not care about the food
Everything was once fun
I miss those days

Now I’m bending over the toilet
In my eyes are welling tears
Falling down my sallow cheeks
Revealing all my hidden fears

Everyday the voice tells me things
I’m fat, worthless, ugly
Pain is all my life will bring
Nobody knows

So I couldn’t keep it hidden forever
Somehow they found out
Now they tell me we’re in this together
But I want it to stay hidden

I would rather be alone
Than keep these promises
That are so hard to hold
But I always do

I tell myself what I am is wrong
I don’t eat for days
Starvation my only friend
And then the binge begins

I get one taste
I cant resist the temptation
I eat in such haste
I want it out, now.

So I crawl up to my toilet
My hiding hell
In my silence I shove my finger down my throat
My insides flooding out

I feel so much better
The food is gone, the hunger returns
Wipe away the tears
And return to society

And as I blend in with the crowd everyday
It seems that nobody really knows
My mind on food is always away
And I realize that I’m still all alone.